The Great Fast.

I ended up fasting the entire weekend. It felt really good to give my body a break from food. I had a few bowls of broth a day strained from previously made chicken soup.

While sick, I think it helped my body concentrate on healing, instead of digesting food. It was nice to go back to eating this morning. I do feel sort of bloated again already this afternoon.

I took waist/hip measurements this morning, so it'll be interesting to see what happens after a couple days of normal eating.

The Dairy Factor.

A couple months ago, I had a crick in my neck. It felt tight for a while and I thought if I could just crack it, it would feel better. Once this happened though, it only seemed to get worse. I could barely turn my head and nothing relieved the pain. Within a few days, the pain subsided and I forgot about it.

A couple days ago my neck had that weird tightness again. I remembered the last time that happened though, and I made sure not to pop it on purpose again. Today it's still a little sore, but the tension is starting to subside.

It got me thinking though. There are lots of people who report lifelong pain subsiding after eliminating foods. I don't remember if I had dairy the last time this neck thing happened. I know though that I had dairy this past week.

I don't know if there's a connection or not, but I wanted to note it in case I forget about it.

Up the down side.

This is not working.

I'm not entirely sure how to define "this", but something isn't working. I was a machine when it came to saying no cravings. I kicked ass. The last three days for no discernible reason, I've had zero willpower. I don't know if it's just me letting things trip me up or if it's more of a physiological thing. It was recommended I start eating more glucose. I figured I'd try it. So I've had one meal a day that had squash or sweet potatoes. Not a lot, but enough.

Then the last four days or so I've been craving carbs. This never bodes well, except this time I haven't even had a desire to say no to them.

So after days of starting out with a clear head and ending with a stomach full of things I hadn't intended on eating, I'm through.

So I'm going to fast today and avoid all food completely. I've had my normal coffee and because I woke up with a sore throat and congestion, I've also been drinking some homemade chicken soup broth. Nothing else though. I need to kick this carb thing and this is the only way I can do it.

eta:
Despite all the cheats, I've still stayed away from wheat and gluten, but not milk or sugar or the other normal things I avoid.

Your love is better than chocolate. Well...no, not really.

I am so easily influenced. I swear I could go forever without eating bad for me things. I rarely actually want them. Then I can mention to a friend chocolate or snacks or something. I don't even really want those things either. But if they mention what sounds good to them. I'm.so.screwed. And that Halloween candy I said I should get rid of. I really should have gotten rid of that. Because really...I didn't need to eat the Snickers, no matter how freaking good it was.

And we won't even mention the other things I had tonight. Or how it's not my cheat day. Or how I took two cheat days last week—one I was perfectly happy with and the other I overindulged in.

I don't know why I do these things. I'm rebelling against my body which has been uncooperative. The way I've chosen to rebel is so counterproductive. I know better. That snickers tasted so good though. ...as did the other things I ate that I shouldn't have.

It's now 6am and I am still up. No sleep and excess sugar is no way to ward off the severe random illness both of my kids have.

I'm going to eat something and drink a boatload of water and then I'm going to go to sleep for a little while. Good luck to me.

eta:
I accomplished good things tonight and I'm proud of myself—just not in the food department.

Epic oversight.

Last night my waist measured the same as it had on January 1st. I've had pretty significant inch loss since that time, but not in my waist.

I've been thinking about this a lot in the last few days. Also, a lot of conversations have been had and suggestions given. There are some factors that I had previously blown off as possibilities, but I'm starting to think they may have some validity. Being paleo, I've added a lot of fat to my diet. I've known for a while that not having a gallbladder could have an affect on my digestion, but I was thinking some epic reaction would occur and I'd be able to say "Oh! That happened. I guess I should limit fat now," but that situation didn't happen. Well...I hadn't noted that it happened.

So now I'm seeing that maybe this issue I've been noting for a long time (as well as other digestive issues) could be that epic moment. I'm still going to cook with coconut oil, but I'm going to limit my Kerrygold consumption for the rest of the month and see if that helps.

So to recap all the February fun:
phase out legumes
restart taking my digestive enzyme
no extra smothering of the Kerrygold (aka limit the excess fat)
no more cheat days

Oh. I don't think I've written about that last one. I've decided to not have cheat days. Even when I try really hard, I can't make it work and then it takes days to recover, even when I haven't had gluten. So no more cheat days. I will have a cheat meal once a week though. An entire day is just too much.

These are all pretty easy fixes. I'll give this a fair try for a little while and see what happens. If nothing changes, I'll explore the other possibilities—namely getting my hormone levels tested. I fear if something is off, my doctor is going to haphazardly prescribe meds (she's always quick to tell me how Ibuprofen can cure all) and I'd rather a prescription be a last resort. Also my yearly physical is coming up in April and I'd like to wait until then to see her.

Not your every day jelly bean.

I've slowly been phasing out legumes again. I never really ate any to begin with so going paleo was not a big deal in that regard. With everything I know of legumes, I was not in agreement with adding them back in, but I did it to follow the plan I committed to. I was okay with it for a month.

A couple things I learned during that month is that soaking your beans and then cooking them yourself makes for a much better bean compared to canned. It's worth the effort.

Another thing I learned is beans aren't so bad. Black beans are good warmed up with oil and red wine vinegar and some seasoning. Lentils are good with melted butter. In fact, if you overcook the lentils and then put butter and salt on them they are surprisingly like mashed potatoes. If I ever wanted to sit at home on a rainy day and have some comfort food, that would be a nice substitute for mashed potatoes since I don't do so well with potatoes.

Despite my positive foray into beans (I had some chick peas too and they were pretty okay) I'm ready to not be eating them anymore. Part of not eating them anymore though requires I add back in the calories and carbs. This will take a little getting used to.

I had already increased my protein intake to account for the extra hunger I know comes when I start working out again. Since I just ate three extra helpings of broccoli and cauliflower, I'm thinking I'll need to compensate for the beans more than I had previously thought. I'll tweak it some more though and see what happens. I could have just randomly been hungrier too.

I feel really good today. My stomach is distended and my jeans are tight and I'm not sure why, but aside from that, I feel surprisingly good. My head is clearer than usual and I have high energy. It's a great day.

Yes. Yes, I am.

Here's a list of the ridiculous things I do that may or may not work, but are worth the try anyway. There's a lot of them. I don't feel that they're nearly as time-consuming as they sound. Also, to me, most of them aren't nearly as "painful" as others may consider them.


drink cold water upon waking
work out fasted
eat fermented food daily
eat within an hour of waking up
don't drink a lot during meals
cold shower before bed (it doesn't count unless it's shiver-inducing. no really. it's actually kind of the highlight of my day.)
sleep with an ice pack on my neck (I've actually come to prefer this and don't sleep as well if I forget it.)

If anything in this list kick starts some good weight loss, that's awesome. If it doesn't, it was just a blip. It was just a small particle of time and worth the chance.

On a quasi-related note, after going through all of my notes and measurements and records for the last six weeks (and part of last year), I came across a possible weight loss correlation. My weight always dips in the first two weeks of being strict and I'm always taking my super enzymes during that time. There was a significant correlation in January. So I'll start taking them again and see what happens.

Week 1 stats are 1.75 inches and .2 pounds lost.

Impromptu Cheat Day.

I dislike the notebook I've been writing all my weight and performance stuff in. Well...I dislike that it's defective and doesn't close correctly. So I bought a new one today. I've been transferring all the information this morning and decided to have my cheat day today. I'm going to eat squash and corn chips and maybe some coconut ice cream and whatever else sounds good in the house, but I'm not going to go buy anything. I don't really care about cheat day this week and there aren't any big cheats I want. I'm just doing it today to get it out of the way.

I want my weight to go back to normal—whatever that is. I want my hormones to stop messing with me and I want to not be so sensitive to food. I can't control those things though, so I'm taking my cheat day today (because I can control that) and maybe in a couple days when my hormones even out, the effects of the cheats will have worn off too. In the meantime I'll concentrate on the other things I can control—sleep and performance, which I feel really great about this week.

eta:
I won't be documenting my food intake here today. The pictures will still be posted to flickr as usual.

Happy Groundhog Day!!

The last week has been really trying. PMS unexpectedly kicked in early and it was overwhelming and my god, what do you do with these extra hormones that are attacking you and turning you into someone you no longer recognize? I'm still in the midst of it and I'm rolling my eyes at what I just typed. And yet...there it is anyway.

Last night I worked out for the first time in too long. I forfeited working out last month and it does not suit me. I'm happy to reclaim what I forget I love. I'm starting out slow, but intend on steady progress and I can't wait to kill it. It feels good to finally be excited about something when excitement has been lacking recently.

8am
two scrambled eggs. I was going to just have cupcakes for breakfast, but I'm in a good mindset and I refuse to squander it. A good for you breakfast was required.


9am
tasted the cannoli I bought yesterday. I ate less than half of it and ended up spitting out the shell because it was no longer crunchy. The inside, while good, was so sweet to me that it hurt my teeth. The super fast sweetness actually kind of turns my stomach and gives me goosebumps in that unpleasant sort of way. Next up: Cupcakes!

9:45am
Cupcakes.
caramel latte. Andes. double chocolate.

The cake part of the caramel latte was the best. All of the frosting was unbearably sweet. These were regular sized cupcakes and the cake part was just below the cupcake cups. I had a small bite of each one and then ate half of the caramel latte cake part. There was also a chocolate chip cookie purchased and I had a small bite of that. That was actually pretty good. I'm ready for something not so sweet.

10:30am
cranberry and chipotle sausage with steamed broccoli and black beans.

Not 100% real food, but close enough.

11:30am
The girl and I had cookies. She tasted my chocolate chip and I tasted her shortbread.

12:30pm
The boy and I had Food Should Taste Good olive tortilla chips. We snacked on these off and on for a while.

eta on 2.4.11 9:10am:

2pm
5-6 Keebler Deluxe Grahams

I was reminded of these chocolate covered grahams a couple days ago and I figure today would be the only day I would excuse my eating them. It might just have been the nostalgia, but they still tasted really good. I only wanted a few though and the aimless snacking craving I expected never came. I brought the rest of the package (and the other three cupcakes) next door. I had also gotten a Russel Stover's marshmallow egg. I had a bite. It's not my cup of tea anymore.

5:15pm
Lone Star- filet mignon and half of a half rack of ribs. sweet potato with butter. some fries. an unprecedented roll with cinnamon butter. Some apple cobbler for dessert.

The filet was so good and cooked just shy of medium rare. The ribs were too saucy, but still good. I figured I may as well have dessert. It is Groundhog Day afterall!

8:30pm
mini snickers, almond joy, whoppers

I was so full after dinner, but then eventually I wanted to take advantage of my day and I was reminded that I had intended on a Snickers. Instead of a big one, I just had Halloween leftovers.

9:30
5-6 dates

Dates sounded really good the other day as a clean cheat of sorts. It's not something I can have the rest of the week so I had some. It will probably be the sort of cheat I have from now on on cheat days.

I'm really kind of over all the processed sugar. Today was a gluten/wheat exception, but otherwise I doubt I'll have any for a while. From now on I expect cheat days will consist of sushi and maybe rice noodles sometimes. I'm really kind of over the cheat day in excess thing and now that my severe pms is waning, I'm not craving ridiculous things anymore.

I'm going to make February a kickass sort of month. I'm really excited about it. We're just four days in and I've already created a plan and established a routine that I'm committed to. It feels really good to have this back.

January stats.

The results of my January challenge are on.

7.75 inches and 7 pounds lost.

I'm disappointed that I gained inches this last week. I know it's a hormonal effect, but that doesn't change anything for me. I am proud of my accomplishments this month.